Scrumptuous Pebbles from Heaven

I'm not a professional food critic or anything but I do consume food-like items often enough and as of yet have not died, so I would say my judgment as to OK things to expose my taste buds to is right up there with the best of them. So when a bag of the unreleased "Chocolate Mix Skittles" mysteriously found it's way into my life I figured I was as good as any man to critique them.

Apparently Chocolate Mix Skittles comes in 5 mouthwatering flavors; here's my review of each:

S'mores- Taste designers went a little overboard with the Honey Graham cracker taste, so each small S'mores skittle is equivalent to a two cup dose of straight honey. Mmmm Mmmm good. No marshmallow or chocolate taste was apparent.

Vanilla- Surprisingly the least chocolate flavored skittle in the chocolate mix was the best. Unfortunately, being the best tasting candy in a bag of Chocolate Mix Skittles is like being the Spelling Bee Champion amongst illiterates. It doesn't really say much.

Chocolate Caramel- This was the flavor I had the most hope for. Sadly its taste resembled all too well a two-decade-old tootsie roll found between the seat and seat back of a used Toyota Camry. Don't ask me how I know...

Chocolate Pudding- Wow, the engineers at Mars snackfoods got this one dead on! Biting through the thick, hard, candy shell of a chocolate pudding skittle is just like biting into the thick, hard shell of real pudding! Wait a minute...

Brownie Batter- Skittles brownie batter flavor is one that only the Easy-Bake oven's 100 watt bulb could rival. It's like that first batch of brownies you ever made in your life, yeah, the ones not even the birds would peck at. Imagine that encapsulated into a small dry pill that you would only take if it cured something.

Choco Mix Skittles aren't entirely without their valor though. They make excellent ammo for slingshots and I would highly recommend them to parents trying to instill a phobia of candy in their children.

Sadly, the Skittles Chocolate Mix holds rank amongst other candy would-bes and has-beens including the Snickers Tuna-Nougat bar, (Disgusted? Why Wait?) and the shell-less Naked M&M's, (They just can't wait to melt in you mouth). Sad, I know. I could really go for some Tuna-Nougat packed with peanut and covered in chocolate about now.